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Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

 

By drinking what I mean hereunder is the consumption of alcohol…Pure and simple!‭ ‬And some of my friends‭ ‬ are past masters at this game,‭ ‬honing it into a fine art‭!

In the olden days I had seen people in my home town thronging in the evenings to the thatched sheds with the sign board‭ “‬Toddy‭” ‬prominently displayed at the entrance,‭ and dotting ‬along the length and breath of this country of mine.‭ ‬At one end of the spectrum,‭ ‬there were old timers‭ ‬in the‭ ‬assemblage who are seasoned drinkers and‭ ‬thought‭ ‬nothing of being‭ ‬spotted in a toddy shop line-up.‭ ( ‬Those days the so-called‭ “‬decent guys‭” ‬didn’t go to a toddy shop for a sip of the elixir‭ ‬because it was considered to be‭ ‬infra-dig‭! ). ‬Then there were‭ ‘‬greenhorns‭’ ‬both young and old,‭ ‬who got goaded into making a visit by their friends for a bit of fun.‭ ‬These guys ‭ ‬tried to erase themselves from the face of the earth by covering their heads in a‭ ‬native towel but with poor results.

These toddy shops used to dish out both toddy‭ ‬and‭ ‘‬arrack‭’ ‬,‭ ‬the latter being a clear liquid‭ ‬,‭ ‬smelling like the bottom of a unwashed baby‭ ! ‬But it‭ ‬sported a kick like that of a‭ ‬mule in a foul mood!‭ ‬Usually the congregation ended up in a brawl‭ – ‬some got bounced‭ ‬out and some got bashed up.‭ ‬By midnight peace would return and the guests would walk out with their wallets still not dented too much.‭ ‬In today’s financial terms‭ ‬their night’s expenses would be less than the droppings of a constipated ant!

Those were the days…But it is a different story here now a days….

Today Toddy shops still exist‭ ‬but our youth have developed their own preferences.‭ ‬Bars are a favourite haunt‭ ‬,‭ ‬especially for those with well stuffed purses.‭ ‬But the real heros are the‭ “ ‬Oh‭! ‬For the open spaces ‭!” ‬guys who have elevated the act of drinking to mind blowing levels of perfection‭ ! They have even discovered ways to avoid overworking their kidneys when on a heavy drinking bout!

kidney bypass syndrom

 

Close to where I live there is a band of‭ “‬booze art lovers‭’ ‬who are the da Vinci’s of group tipping.‭ ‬Going on tour is a passion with them because they get an opportunity for‭ ‬downing the ale,‭ ‬without the cussed‭ ‬neighbours breathing down their necks , making life unbearable‭ and robbing ‬ them of a chance for a peaceful pow-wow with the bottle‭ !

This group‭ ‬ look upon‭ “‬Drink‭” ‬as their own sibling.‭ ‬One of them whom I know carries it in his car always‭ ‬,‭ ‬often relegating his‭ ‬10‭ ‬year old son and   wifie to the back seat‭ ‬so that he can install the bottle and other related paraphernalia on the front seat‭ ‬and hug it while driving‭!

Recently one group here went on a tour of the Western ghats for a spot of drinking extravaganza.‭ ‬The‭ ‬20‭ ‬seater van arrived in the‭ ‬colony right on Indian time‭ ‬,‭ ‬that is‭ ‬60‭ ‬minutes late‭ ‬:‭) ‬,‭ ‬because the driver too was an ardent fan of the inebriating brew‭! After a flurry of activity near the van door, i‬n went first the casks of beer,‭ ‬bottles of whisky,‭ ‬Rum,‭ ‬and Brandy,‭ ‬ all with extreme care, and then the wives and the kids in that order , the latter gettin not so much care..‭ ‬All the bottles were‭ ‬carried inside delicately by loving hands and stached away in the inner folds of the‭ ‬20‭ ‬seater,‭ ‬after some‭ ‬5‭ ‬seats were‭ ‘‬unseated‭ ‘ ‬and thrown out‭ ( ‬space crunch y’know‭!)‬.

It was around‭ ‬7‭ ‬o’clock in the morning and the morning sun was ascending‭ ‘‬unsteadly‭’ ‬-‭ ‬or so it seemed to the team leader who was still trying to figure out what went wrong during last night’s binge‭! The ground apperared to have acquired a mind of its own and still showed an annoying tendency to gyrate ! Balancing under the circumstances was difficult unless one downed yet another peg. ..and he did just that!
The driver,‭ ‬back from‭ ‬a soujourn at the lamp post to download the contents of his bladder crawled into his seat and honked twice,‭ ‬and then some‭ ‬,‭ ‬perhaps to assure himself that he had got into the right van ! He was quite familiar with the honks of his van which he could single out from a kilometer away, like the mother penquin who could recognise it’s baby’s cry from the cackle of a thousand others’ ‭!

‭The revellers trooped in one by one, kids and baggage in tow, looking left and right to ensure that they are not too conspicuous … By 9 am all were in and relaxing…

‭“Shall we start?”

‭Asked an impatient reveller.

‭“ Shall we start what? The van or on the bottle?”
‭Quipped anoter impatient one.

‭“ Why not both ?”
‭ Suggested a more practical impatient guy and this was welcomed with much enthusiasm.
‭It was followed by two ‘pops’ , one made by the driver gunning his engine and the other by the decapping of the beer bottle…

‭The procession was on its way…

‭Half way to the destination during the ensuing revelry someone suddenly noticed the absence of the team leader! Frantic consultaions about his possible whereabouts were underway . Under the seats, on the the seats and over the seats in the luggage racks , no stone was unturned but all searches came up with nautch! In the end a non-plussed group decided to push on , and leader be damned!

‭Back home in the colony a desolate half-drunk was seen ambling around without aim , mourning under his liquir-smelling breath

“The B******s ditched me !”

‭Adios!
‭Until next time…!

 

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