By drinking what I mean hereunder is the consumption of alcohol…Pure and simple! And some of my friends are past masters at this game, honing it into a fine art!
In the olden days I had seen people in my home town thronging in the evenings to the thatched sheds with the sign board “Toddy” prominently displayed at the entrance, and dotting along the length and breath of this country of mine. At one end of the spectrum, there were old timers in the assemblage who are seasoned drinkers and thought nothing of being spotted in a toddy shop line-up. ( Those days the so-called “decent guys” didn’t go to a toddy shop for a sip of the elixir because it was considered to be infra-dig! ). Then there were ‘greenhorns’ both young and old, who got goaded into making a visit by their friends for a bit of fun. These guys tried to erase themselves from the face of the earth by covering their heads in a native towel but with poor results.
These toddy shops used to dish out both toddy and ‘arrack’ , the latter being a clear liquid , smelling like the bottom of a unwashed baby ! But it sported a kick like that of a mule in a foul mood! Usually the congregation ended up in a brawl – some got bounced out and some got bashed up. By midnight peace would return and the guests would walk out with their wallets still not dented too much. In today’s financial terms their night’s expenses would be less than the droppings of a constipated ant!
Those were the days…But it is a different story here now a days….
Today Toddy shops still exist but our youth have developed their own preferences. Bars are a favourite haunt , especially for those with well stuffed purses. But the real heros are the “ Oh! For the open spaces !” guys who have elevated the act of drinking to mind blowing levels of perfection ! They have even discovered ways to avoid overworking their kidneys when on a heavy drinking bout!
Close to where I live there is a band of “booze art lovers’ who are the da Vinci’s of group tipping. Going on tour is a passion with them because they get an opportunity for downing the ale, without the cussed neighbours breathing down their necks , making life unbearable and robbing them of a chance for a peaceful pow-wow with the bottle !
This group look upon “Drink” as their own sibling. One of them whom I know carries it in his car always , often relegating his 10 year old son and wifie to the back seat so that he can install the bottle and other related paraphernalia on the front seat and hug it while driving!
Recently one group here went on a tour of the Western ghats for a spot of drinking extravaganza. The 20 seater van arrived in the colony right on Indian time , that is 60 minutes late :) , because the driver too was an ardent fan of the inebriating brew! After a flurry of activity near the van door, in went first the casks of beer, bottles of whisky, Rum, and Brandy, all with extreme care, and then the wives and the kids in that order , the latter gettin not so much care.. All the bottles were carried inside delicately by loving hands and stached away in the inner folds of the 20 seater, after some 5 seats were ‘unseated ‘ and thrown out ( space crunch y’know!).
It was around 7 o’clock in the morning and the morning sun was ascending ‘unsteadly’ - or so it seemed to the team leader who was still trying to figure out what went wrong during last night’s binge! The ground apperared to have acquired a mind of its own and still showed an annoying tendency to gyrate ! Balancing under the circumstances was difficult unless one downed yet another peg. ..and he did just that!
The driver, back from a soujourn at the lamp post to download the contents of his bladder crawled into his seat and honked twice, and then some , perhaps to assure himself that he had got into the right van ! He was quite familiar with the honks of his van which he could single out from a kilometer away, like the mother penquin who could recognise it’s baby’s cry from the cackle of a thousand others’ !
The revellers trooped in one by one, kids and baggage in tow, looking left and right to ensure that they are not too conspicuous … By 9 am all were in and relaxing…
“Shall we start?”
Asked an impatient reveller.
“ Shall we start what? The van or on the bottle?”
Quipped anoter impatient one.
“ Why not both ?”
Suggested a more practical impatient guy and this was welcomed with much enthusiasm.
It was followed by two ‘pops’ , one made by the driver gunning his engine and the other by the decapping of the beer bottle…
The procession was on its way…
Half way to the destination during the ensuing revelry someone suddenly noticed the absence of the team leader! Frantic consultaions about his possible whereabouts were underway . Under the seats, on the the seats and over the seats in the luggage racks , no stone was unturned but all searches came up with nautch! In the end a non-plussed group decided to push on , and leader be damned!
Back home in the colony a desolate half-drunk was seen ambling around without aim , mourning under his liquir-smelling breath
“The B******s ditched me !”
Adios!
Until next time…!
