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Posts Tagged ‘cholesterol’

I am an avid morning walker… 

I try not to miss any of my morning constitutionals !

Most of the days I am out by 6 am.

I simply love to walk, period!

Now that you have got the general picture I may also add that some of my friends even call me Johnny Walker..Some less charitable others say that I walked out of my mother’s womb! The latter of course might be a bit of exaggeration because if I had done that I would have fallen off the delivery table and broken my neck… and you wouldn’t be reading this epic piece:) !!!

Many people go for a morning walk because sometime, somewhere they have read that it is good for their heart ! At other times they have heard that it has a beneficial effect on one’s blood sugar, thereby giving them an escape route from the bad effects of wading into sackful of sweets day after day! And some men do it as a ruse to escape from the morning naggings of their ‘bitter halves’ 🙂

During my morning trips I have come across a variety of walkers who trudge along stoically , gulping down the God’s Own Air’ in large doses, like beached whales ! But one indisputable fact is that a large percentage of these people drop out and disappear into thin air , some after a few days, some after months!

I suspect some of the women walk because their neighbour walks, proudly displaying her belly button which had long ago disappeared into the folds of fat. I know about one lady who attends every office party religiously and indulges in some really daring acts of over-eating . The next morning she hits the road for a spin in the fervent hope that by the time she returns to her house she would have transformed herself into a ‘feather weight’…Fat hope!

feather weight

Another strange couple I have come across ( both women and consummate practioners of the so-called sport of ‘talkathon’) takes the cake ! They wag their tongues incessantly while on the move, leaning on each other… Serious walking happens only as a casual afterthought. The first is a shortie who laughs all the time like a hyena for no apparent reason at all while the other is an Amazonian who too laughs all the time but just for the heck of it! ! They stop walking only when their tongues get tired !

Then there is this senior citizen whom I walk with off and on . He is a past- master at multi-tasking. He moves likes a worker ant who has been sent away by his Queen on some urgent errand! He is always fiddling with his mobile phone to switch off its radio , but with little success! On his lucky day he may also meet a passing walker and would accost him as a long-lost friend while  tweaking the radio! Once the guy passes he would slow down to turn around and still tweaking the radio ( because I am 5 steps behind him, having exhausted all my energy trying to catch up with him) would  ask me in sotto voce:

“ Hey ! Who was it?”

He makes up his lack of ‘inches’ by the speed of his walk which strikes terror in the minds of other walkers on the same route ! Even the news paper vendor who , in his own right is a ‘death racer’ on mobike, has a healthy respect for this ‘star walker’! At times when I slow down his walking style ‘cross-fades’ into an “s” mode, winding from way side to way side , but still in top gear !

And then there are some other types of walkers who walk at a pace dictated by their dogs !
These dogs come in 3 shades:

walker's dogs

Category 1: The ‘Cheeta’ dogs:  You have to run after them, otherwise you lose them for good!
Category 2: The tortise dogs:  Lazy bums…You need to push them to get going !
Category 3: The constipated dogs …ahem..( more later 🙂 !

Handling dogs is dicey because of the animals’ uncertain pattern of bowel movements. Once I was walking in the Lake District in the UK along with my English friend and his wife with her dog in tow. She carried a good supply of tissues under her arm the purpose which escaped me at first. But once the walk started things became clearer and all pieces fell into place!

She would stoop down every now and then and pick up delicately the dog droppings and store it in a paper bag , admonishing her ‘baby’  for not being civic minded! I wanted to suggest to the lady that she should try using a diaper for her dog ! But being their guest of honour I kept my councel to myself!

diapper dog

The Category 3 dogs- the constipated variety – have the will but not the wherewithal! I have seen walkers’ dogs arching on closely planted feet and struggling to produce some output while their resigned owner hangs around looking embarrassed, waiting for something to emerge! And the passers-by look at him with compassion and move on because they have nothing much to offer!

Finally, there is one more category of walkers as far as I know, but they do not walk on the roads in the mornings . So I don’t see them but I am well aware of their existence . They have no fixed times for walking.. I met a fatso of this kind one day in his home and suggested he take regular walks in the mornings to fine tune his health, or what there was left of it.

“ But I do walk man, I do! Every day!” He replied with a scowl on his face as though what I was saying was sacrilege .
“ But I don’t see you outside at all, mon ami”  I tried a bit of French as I had heard he had flown over France once.
“ Mon Cher!” He gave back in the same coin… “ I walk from my drawing room to the toilet at least twice every day …More , when I have an upset stomach!”

Touche…!

I quit!

After studying all these various types of’ walkers’ I have finally come to this conclusion: –
“Walk alone and you will walk tall !”

Bye for now!

 

 

 

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