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Foreign jaunts are usually meant for ministers politicians and money bags…For most of the rest of us ‘ordinaries’ what is destined are only jaunts in dreams…

I had one recently, just after retiring for the night…

I dreamed that I had taken a trip to a foreign country…

When the aircraft landed on the tarmac with a thud the earth shook a bit , may be because the pilot bugger was a trainee or a retired pile driver 😦 These folks use us dream travelers for “target practice” !

The ‘thud’ may have been a small one for the country, but a much bigger one for its neighbour! Apparently the plane’s ‘thud wave’ traveled like a “terrestrial Tsunami” , getting amplified as it dashed single-minded towards the neighbouring country and grew into a god-awful Earthquake with a magnitude of 7.4 on the Ritcher scale when it hit its target!

That is my theory , of course! It is yet to be proved! However, as a matter of fact there indeed was an earthquake or rather two in the neighbouring country around that time which gives some degree of credence to my theory…, if you discount the fact that the earthquakes hit a few days after my ‘arrival!

( We bloggers are a privileged lot with some leeway given for improvisations and are allowed to practice a bit of fact-twisting, now and then y’know! )

Days later, while being driven from home to a friend’s place I came across an interesting ‘pastime’ of some of the locals . This involved burning what looked like black round rings from a distance, which later turned out to be car tyres! As if to lend a helping hand to the choking smoke that accompanied these rituals the local peace keepers lobbed a few well-aimed tear gas shells into the inferno ! These were warmly welcomed by the burning tyres with open arms and the two had a swell time doing a tango together! I enjoyed those fireworks , albeit with a bit of my heart in my mouth!

Subsequently , I had my own share of many of such incidents while being driven through the neighbourhood ! Observing these incidents , it occurred to me that perhaps the business of selling tyres for feeding such fireworks could be a more lucrative proposition around here , better than selling the cars themselves. And who knows, at some point in time as the past-time gains popularity the up-beat dealers might even remove all the new tyres from the vehicles as and when they are delivered from the factory . They can then sell them to the incendiary experts at a good price , after throwing away all remaining waste material such as the engine, body, wheel rims interior furnishings et al….

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I was also entertained by some other forms of breath taking displays of fireworks which always came after the ‘tyre sequence’, much the same way little babies follow a marriage ! I did some research on this and came up with some awesome findings… I found out that these entertainments are provided by the use of a special device which is produced using a patented and a jealously guarded technology credited to a smart-ass guy called Molotov. These devices go under the trade name of ‘Molotov Cocktails’. Having said that, if you happen to go into any beverage shop in the market looking for these devices you are bound to get disappointed… and that is NOT because the local laws frown upon drinking in public! …!

I did some further research and delved deep into the origin of this WDM ( weapon for mass destruction ) and came up with some interesting findings…..

Comrade Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Molotov was a Soviet politician and diplomat, an Old Bolshevik guy . He was a leading figure in the Soviet government from the 1920s, when he rose to power as a protégé of Joseph Stalin , to 1957. As with all these sudden rises of ‘proteges ‘, the poor chap was suddenly booted out from the Presidium (Politburo) of the Central Committee by Comrade Nikita (‘patch-on-the-head’) Khrushchev !

What now follows is pure conjecture…”putting two-and-two -together” kind of thing, y’know;)

Reasoning shrewdly ( and that is yet another of my special talents ) I realised that after getting the elephantine boot from Comrade Khrushchev’s well-shod foot in the small of the back , our wretched Comrade must have got thoroughly demoralised and ‘dispirited’ ! And what did he do?

Well he went and brewed up a spirit-lifting strong drink …and Vodka be blowed! But unfortunately , maybe by miscalculation, the man used a wrong kind of ingredient, called ‘petrol’ in the making of his recipe ! Now liquids like petrol ( as every terrorist child knows ), show a strong tendency to blow up in one’s face when ignited in closed spaces …

The end game? Our friend Comrade Molotov had his come-uppance and got himself “martyred” .

Well folks, thus was born the now famous’ Molotov Cocktail! ( I have sent this theory off for patent approval, response awaited:( !)

Why all this blah-blah now, you may ask and you well may! On the above mentioned occasion I had a grand stand view of two of these wonder portions winging their way over my head into the unknown almost brushing my car’s bonnet and my offended ego! I was not privy to what they did in the end! However, I heard a loud bang- rather two- and from the look of things, the quiet neighbourhood must have got its beautiful ass singed!

It was then , that I was rudely shaken and brought back to reality by some one shouting..

I say , dammit, you just fell off the bed, man ! ”

And when I opened my eyes I saw there never could have been a truer statement of facts! I was sitting on the floor, with my better-half staring down at me , her eyes full of concern!

Well, so much for my “dream jaunts”…:(

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