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Archive for the ‘‘konditions’ in kochi’ Category

I was reading the other day an article in the Supplement of an English daily on a subject that was quite new to me. It also showed how outdated one  becomes as one  grows in years!  This article was all about  a new ( read ‘modern’) trend in ‘baba rearing techniques’ which seems to be getting popular among the ‘career-babes’ in  Kochi  !

It is called, or so I am told , “Baby Bunching”!

The general idea , as per the author , is to get your quota of kids in a bunch of  two in the shortest possible period, to avoid certain ‘rearing up ‘hassles’…

Shucks, since when did the birth of your sons and daughters become a ‘hassle’?

It seems the trend now among newly married women  while planning their families  is to produce their first progeny in quick succession  like the  shots from a James Bond Beretta  … Phut…phut…!

That way you  get the chore of baby manufacturing behind you in a jiffy and   can attend to the more important things in life like your career !

And if the first delivery happens to be  a pair of twins, Lord be praised!

Their  approach looks something like this..

*  Meet a boy  in the office…

*  Maybe ‘live in’ for some time, if your outlook is ‘modern’ enough….

*  Satisfy yourself that the guy is workable , viable and pliable

*  Get the marriage proposed…

*  Get married …

*  Roll out first model after 10 months

*  Take a long breath and hold it for 30seconds…

*  Go for a second one  and flaunt it before the world,  9 months after the first…         (shorter if it is premature…)

*  Take  a bath afterwards with ‘fiama di Wills’

*  Apply face make-over ,

*  Comb the hair …

*  Hop into  your  ‘Swift’ …

*  Get back to your Desk …

*  And be done with the damn baby chore…!

Apparently the normal couples do not undertake  this drill, unless it happens by oversight 🙂 ! Only the sophisticated ones like the techies and the IT bunch go for it …

These ‘young things’  consider such a ‘ modus operandi ‘ an ‘economically, emotionally and practically viable option’  as the article puts it, without the hassles attending  a second  production programme launched after a long time gap!

To bring a human being into the world , they argue, is a ‘strenuous’ process , literally and figuratively speaking ! And it takes a lot of energy and labour ( pun intended ) . And to bring him or her up  to an manageable age is still more taxing and time consuming .

So, assume  you wait till the ‘product’ reaches the ‘critical mass’ ( say 5 years) before having a go at the second one. Then you have to go through all the ‘processes waits’  once again during these  5 years!  The  consequent second term of absence from the work desk  can spell virtual doom of your career because no CEO will ever allow you to vamoos for a second  prolonged ‘production sabbatical’ !

No Siree !

—————————————————————————————–

What? You want to take leave for Baby Bunching?

NO…!    Off Load it!

——————————————————————————————

So the ‘young things’  have now patented this new  method ! They now  choose to get it  off their chest…ahem… I mean the  womb…quite  ‘fast and furious’ . It reminds me of something like batch processing or very close to it! ‘ .

And the benefits when the job is done…?

The CEO is happy…

The babies are happy…

The  Mother is happy ,too, now that the fatory is closed….

And the Hubby? Well , he doesn’t count anyway, because  he will have his hands full with two babies taking part in a non-synchronised bawling jugal bandhi !

A win-win situation….!

Or is it?

In the olden days  after  a baby was born the next few years were the most enjoyable ones especially for the Mum…!

– Rearing it up , seeing it grow day by day…

– Watching it pass through the various milestones of its life …

– Enjoying its transformation from  a cuddlesome , cute bundle  into an ‘enfante terrible’ ..

Parents of old loved to savour those happy days for a long period of time  before thinking of setting up  shop for the launch of another  model….

All because for them their kids were more important than their career…

But gone are those days, it seems !

Now it is ‘baby bunching’ all the way!

Vive la baby crunching…oops!… baby bunching!

And ‘Amen!’ on that !

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